Tales from the ER...

Just a quick one here....

My patient last night tried to kill himself. (And don't get all outraged, I'm not making fun of people who try to commit suicide, only those who are bad at it! Ok, ok, that's not funny either! Sorry!) Anyway he tried to hang himself. He said that he is on narcotic pain meds for chronic back pain, but that they are weaning him off the meds. So he usually takes one half of a pill every day. Well last night he wanted another half pill, but since his wife wouldn't give it to him he decided to hang himself. He went out to the garage, climbed up on the counter, and put an electrical cord around his neck. He tied the cord to a pipe running over head and jumped off the counter. The problem? He's 6' 7'' and the cord was too long. So the police arrived and he was just standing there, with the cord around his neck. The police cut the cord, but he started fighting with them, so they tazed him.
Then they brought him into the ER. After the police left him there, he became aggressive and started yelling and swinging at people. So we tied him down, and then we gave him meds to sedate him.
So, he failed at trying to kill himself, got tazed, got tied to the bed, and got a catheter. And still didn't get his other half of the pain pill! And you thought you had a bad day!