Tales from the ER...

Ugh! It was a long week at work. The last night was the worst...it started with toilet paper and balls, and ended with toilet paper and balls. Not fun! Here's how it went...
We have frequent fliers in the ER. People who call 911 for the most ridiculous reasons, drunks who come in all the time. For whatever reason, they are there almost as much as we are. So we have this patient, I'll call him T.T., I worked 3 days in a row this week, he was there three days in a row. Sometimes twice a day. He's a drunk, he passes out on the street and some good samaritan sees him and calls 911, so they bring him to us. Or he gets drunk and doesn't want to pass out on the street so he calls 911 himself and claims chest pain. Either way, they bring him in, almost every day. So anyway the first night I worked he was there, with a blood alcohol level of .347 (legally drunk is .08). So we let him sleep there all night, sober up and sent him home in the morning. I came back the next night and he was there again, with a blood alcohol level of .361.
So I come in the third night and this is how it goes...
First thing I see as I walk into the nursing station is another one of our frequent fliers walking back to his bed from the bathroom. It was a typical TV hospital moment...gown wide open in the back, nothing but his birthday suit on underneath. The whole ER got a nice view of his butt, with a toilet paper trail hanging out from between his cheeks. He climbed into his bed, and we all saw the "full monty". Toilet paper and balls!
So I take a look around the ER, bed 1 is another one of our frequent fliers, who this time is actually sick. He's a little agitated and keeps getting out of bed. Bed 9 is T.T., back again for the third night. Passed out and snoring on the gurney, this time with a blood alcohol level of .317. The night was pretty calm at first, we got bed 1 admitted and up to the fourth floor, TT eloped about nine o'clock. It was peaceful. About 11 o'clock, we hear code gray paged over head. Code gray means a patient is combative, fighting. It was our guy from bed 1. So Alex and I head up to the fourth floor to see what was going on. We see 6 guys standing there, but no patient. They had let him get away. We knew he was still in the hospital because his tele monitor was still picking up, so we were scouring the hospital but couldn't find him. It was like a game of hide and seek. The next thing we hear is the emergency exit door alarm. He had headed outside. We followed him out, but lost him. He was gone, with his IV still in and his tele box, so we had to call the police and let them know he was missing.
Alex and I headed back to the ER and the phone rang, it was the medics bringing in another patient. They showed up and guess who it was....TT! He had left the hospital and headed straight to wherever he goes to get his drink on. This time his BAC was .401. We got him settled and I headed to see what was going on with my new patient.
She was paying a visit with a complaint of vaginal discharge. We get alot of people coming in with complaints of these kinds of issues. I like to call them dirty snatch disease, or stinky winky disease, depending on the gender. So anyway she's complaining of vaginal discharge that had been going on for about a week. So the doctor gets ready to do a pelvic exam. I was standing by to chaperone. As soon as we get her up in the stirrups there is this foul, foul odor. I hear the doc say "what is that?" (Never, ever a good thing to hear during a pelvic exam.) And he pulls out this horrible smelling, grayish colored blob of something. Turns out it was a tampon she forgot was in there. And her last period ended a week ago, so it had been in there that long. The smell was horrific, the best part was the doctors face as he was trying to hold his breath and not gag. Classic!
About this time the ambulance door open up and it was our guy from bed 1 who had run away earlier. They had found him passed out in the empty field next door. He was covered in mud. Because he had left, we can't just send him back up to his bed, we have to start all over again, who knows what he did while he was out there. This time he was even more agitated, and still kept trying to get out of bed. We medicated him to try and sedate him but nothing worked. We gave him enough medicine to take down a horse but nothing was working. We ended up restraining him, but even then, he kept trying to sit up and get out of bed.
While that was going on, I get another new patient, this one was complaining that her intestines were falling out her rectum. (It can happen, its called a prolapsed bowel, and it can happen if people strain too hard to have a BM, or people with some chronic conditions, but it's really rare.) So the doc and I head in to see what was going on. The doc goes in for a rectal exam, spreads her cheeks, and out comes a large wad of toilet paper. Apparently she had been wiping really hard and leaving pieces of toilet paper in there and it had just built up between her cheeks and she thought it was her intestines coming out. It was a disgusting mess, and had another not-so-nice odor about it.
I sent her on her way, and went back to help out with the guy in bed 1 again. He was still so agitated, and we needed to do some exams, so we ended up intubating him so we could really sedate him. We gave him some good meds and he was pretty sedated. The last thing I do before I leave is put a catheter in him. Kim was helping me and as I sticking the catheter in, Kim says "What a night, we started with balls, and we're ending with balls."
My reply was "Toilet paper and balls."
Sometimes we just don't get paid enough, but at least we get good laughs about it later.

Refiner's Fire

As we were singing the song in church, it reminded me of this email I got a year ago....


Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get
back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
is to be holy,
set apart for you, Lord.
I choose to be holy,
set apart for you, my Master
ready to do your will.

Uh oh...she's on the move!

Chloe is crawling! Ok, she's barely crawling, but at least she's moving on her own now. She gives up easily tho, and waits for someone to come get her. It's gonna take a little practice, but soon she'll be all over the place...and life will never be the same!

Just a thought...

In case you didn't know, Massachusetts elected a Republican Senator yesterday. This is big news around here. Anyway all the talk of how this now takes away the Democrat's filibuster proof majority and makes the health care reform bill harder to pass got me to thinking. I think every state should have to elect one Republican and one Democrat senator. Ok, before you write this off, hear me out. If there was no majority, they would have to work together. If the Republicans or Democrats wanted to pass something, they'd have to compromise, and work out something that makes both parties happy. Seems like this way, the majority of Americans would be happy. I mean really, who is 100% Republican or Democrat, both parties have things going for them, and most people, I believe, align with Democrats on some issues, and Republicans on others. No one should vote for or against an issue, just because the party they identify with says they should. And if there is no majority in the Senate, everyone would have to work together.
In addition to forcing compromise, this would ensure every voter in every state has a say. For example, here in CA, there are two Democrat senators who've been in the senate for many terms. Every election I vote for whoever the Republican Senator is, but it's a waste, because no matter who it is, the Democrat is going to win. If there had to be one Republican at least there would be a choice for us too.
So, one Democrat and one Republican from every state, compromise is the name of the game, and every voter gets a voice. Sounds like a good idea to me...

Operation Love the Children of Haiti

My cousin (well technically its my mom's first cousin, but that still makes him my cousin) runs an orphanage in Haiti with his wife and son. From what I understand the orphanage survived the earthquake but it's the only house on their street still left standing. They cannot go into the house because of aftershocks, but they are all doing well. They have supplies, but need prayers. Please keep them in your prayers, that they may use this tragedy to witness for Christ's love. For their website go here (although even in good times it is hard to keep up to date). Go here for their facebook group. Here is a video of a man who was volunteering in the orphanage when the earthquake struck. Watch the video and hear about how God kept them safe. Again, what they need most is prayers, so please include them in your prayers for Haiti. Thanks!

ps...the pics are from their facebook group page. there are also more on the website.

Snow fun!!!

Last weekend we went to Utah to play in the snow. We left here at 3am and drove to Vegas where we picked up my cousins kids. Then we drove another two hours and met up with my brother, sis in law and niece. Another hour drive after that and we were in Brian Head, Utah! There was so much snow. We had such a good time playing in all of it. Chloe wasn't too sure what all the fuss was about though. She thought we were all crazy. Next year though when she can walk and play in it, I'm sure she'll love it!

Getting ready to race innertubes

snow bunny

just chillin'

so cute!

Chloe and Auntie Jen!

There was so much snow, I just sank into it. It was so hard to walk in it.

Chloe in the snow

her first Diet Pepsi

Her first piece of candy...sour licorice

Who needs sleds when you can slide down the hill on your butts

the boy scouts made an igloo for us!

my snow angel

Tales from the ER

A note to my patient last night....

Because I know you don't remember what you did, allow me to refresh your memory. You are a young girl, probably very pretty, but it is hard to tell, because I have only seen you covered in your own vomit. The police brought you in, hog-tied because you kicked out the police car window, and your face, hair, and clothes were soaked in vomit. The police said that you had taken a bunch of tylenol trying to kill yourself, and yup, there was evidence of partially digested pills in your vomitus.

I'm sure you are wondering why you are so sore this morning. Well that is because we had to tie you to the bed. You were kicking and swinging at us, and we just can't have that now. We tried to tell you to lay still, but you just wouldn't listen. When we tied your hands and legs you were laying on your back, but somehow you managed to twist yourself around so you were laying on your stomach, I'm sure you're feeling that pain in your shoulders today. Oops. Next time listen when we say lay still.

The pain in your throat is from the large tube we had to stick down there to wash out your stomach. Let me tell you that was an adventure. It took two cops, two nurses, and a tech to hold you down enough to get that done. I was the lucky one who got to shove the tube in your throat, and had to hold it at the lip while another nurse dumped a bunch of fluids into your stomach. The unfortunate result of dumping all those fluids in, is that they must come back out. So, while we were trying to suck them back out, I guess we weren't fast enough for you, because you promptly vomited again. And because I was the lucky one holding the tube, you vomited all over my hands. Good thing I was wearing gloves.

I'm sure you're also wondering why you have blood around your nose. Well that is your own fault. After we took the tube out of your mouth, we had to stick another one into your nose that goes down into your stomach. (The tube in your mouth can't stay in, this one can, so thats why we had to do both.) Anyway we got the tube in, and gave you the charcoal (more on that later), but when we had to untie your hand to move you, you immediately yanked that tube out. Again, we told you not to do it, but you just didn't listen. We told you it would hurt, but I guess you're just one of those people who have to see for yourself.

So back to the charcoal. What people don't know, is that tylenol is one of the worst drugs to overdose on, it won't kill you, but it will ruin your liver. Seriously. So we had to give you charcoal, it binds with any undigested pills and prevents them from being absorbed into your system. This was given via the tube in your nose. Charcoal is thick, black and nasty. Not fun to give. But you took it like a champ. Of course you didn't have a choice, because, again we gave it via the tube. The unfortunate side effect of charcoal though, is it makes you really sick to your stomach. About half hour after you yanked out the NG tube, you started to vomit that charcoal back out. You were laying on your right side at this time, so there wasn't much risk of aspirating. After you vomited, you laid your head right back down into it. We tried to tell you not too, but again you didn't listen. And this time you fought back a bit. You rolled around in that nasty stuff and got it all over you, so we moved you to a clean bed, but you vomited all over again. This time it was projectile. It splattered everywhere, including on me. Now my cute green scrub pants are permanently stained with your charcoal vomit. Thanks for that. So anyway you kept rolling around in this nasty stuff. And the thing is, charcoal vomit is horrible. It is black and chalky, and well, it stains. I'm sure you would be aware of this, if you could get to a mirror, but I know you can't so allow me to tell you what you look like. Your face, arms, chest (yes, your chest, you wouldn't keep your clothes on either) are smeared in black. Your pasty white face, looks like an african american. And it's in your hair too, mixed with the vomit from earlier. If I were you, I'd plan on getting a haircut when I left the hospital. You'll never get the black stains out from your blonde hair.

Anyway, the main point of this letter is to let you know, that while we were doing all of this to try to save your life, and your liver (although you'll probably kill that by drinking, the police said they found you in a room littered with beer bottles), YOU BIT ME!!! Yes, you read that right, you bit me. So I just wanted to know if your vaccinations are up to date, or do I need to get a rabies shot?

Thanks.
And by the way, you're welcome for saving your life.